Member Since: Nov 07, 2010
I am new to writing and will admit that I am NOT an aspiring writer. I find that it is very difficult to adhere to a schedule and it is hard to come up with believable plot lines.
I am good with dialog, but very sketchy with everything else. I am also currently working a job for the U.S. gov't that entails 72 hour work weeks, so there is not much time to indulge in writing.
I do enjoy reading and posting reviews. I am very good at the editing gig and can be brutally honest. I will always post what I think in a review, although I promise that my other name is NOT Simon Cowell. If I like a piece, I will state that. If I think it needs to be modified to better fit the characters, I will let you know. I will forgive spelling, as each of us make mistakes, at times. But, I will still point it out.
I look forward to reading and (maybe) writing in the Castle genre.
Castle decides its time to stop shadowing Beckett, but then he gets a call from Esposito that turns his world upside down. Beckett has gone missing! Can Castle and/or Demming solve the case and save her before it is too late? Complete!
Categories: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Suspense, Crime Characters: Kate Beckett, Richard Castle
Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 15183 Read Count: 4953
Loved the ending of this chapter. It is typical Castle. Beckett was expecting one recation, but he gave her an out and pushed the conversation in anohter direction, sparing her having to answer somerthing that would make her uncomfortable.
You definitely nailed the ending. I thought that Demming was protrayed slightly out of character in the story, though. He doesn't like Castle much, but in the show, it appears that he has recognised Castle as an asset that has good insight. I just felt that he would not have refused to even listen to Castle in that situation, with Kate kidnapped. It did help make the story flow, though. So, it worked in context to this story.
Overall, the story was very well thought out and organized. The only issue I would have as an editor is what I wrote above. I thought that you could have reached the same bullet points in the story, yet kept from portraying Demming, who I personally despise in the show, as a complete ass.
Again, don't take anything above as criticism. I am merely trying to critique your story as if I were your editor. It is an area that is inconsistent with past representations of a character, so it is the editor's job to inform the writer of this. As a stand alone story, this works very well and Demming's actions feel very believable. It is only when basing his past actions on this story that any discrepancies appear.
I greeatly enjoyed the story and look forward to more from you.
What happens when Lanie talks Kate into trying speed dating...and Castle finds out?
Categories: Humour, Romance Characters: Kate Beckett, Richard Castle
Series: The Speed of Life
Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 8772 Read Count: 37008
This is an interesting concept and I can see multiple possibilities. I have to continue reading, jusdt to know which way your devious mind takes this story. :o)
A criminal from their past. comes back. Castle's been kidnapped and it's up to Beckett and the team to find him. Will they reach him in time and will this crime solving duo finally admit to each other how they really feel.
Categories: Drama, Romance, Friendship Characters: Alexis Castle, Javier Esposito, Kate Beckett, Kevin Ryan, Lanie Parish, Martha Rodgers, Richard Castle, Roy Montgomery
Chapters: 26 Table of Contents
Completed: No Word count: 32623 Read Count: 16976
This has been a very good story, which I have enjoyed immensely. There is one thing missing, though. It might be that you have not quite finished, so I will just be stating something that has already been planned, but there needs to be closure to this story.
At this point, there is no epilogue posted, so I am anxiously waiting for it. I am not one to make suggestions because I feel that the author has a better feel for how their story should end than I do. I just feel that there needs to be at least one more chapter to wrap this up as a completed story. There is more that can be done with it than a concluding chapter, but that is for you as the author to decide.
If I am jumping the gun and getting ahead of you as the writer, I can only paraphrase a statement that comes from one of the characters from the Castle universe, "If you don't get me the last chapter, us Castle fans will take back the bonus we gave you. It's in the (implied) contract."
Look forward to your continued interpretation of Richard Castle, Kate Beckett and the rest of the crew.
This story isn't complete yet. Life has gotten in the way a little and a new chapter was posted this morning.
Richard Castle is always looking for a reason to throw a party. And sometimes he knows just when to find one.
Categories: Humour, General, Friendship Characters: None
Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 2043 Read Count: 3638
This was a very good one-off. It showed the playful side of the team, instead of having them on a case the whole time. It helps to flesh out their characters while they are in nothing but a social situation, which is missing from quite a few fanfics. Good job.
It started out as an ordinary case... but turned into one they all will never forget. Our favorite detectives and author investigate the murder of a lawyer that leads to some pretty interesting revelations...
Youtube Trailer to the story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HICaDbSZUU
Spoilers: Nothing too specific - references are made to some episodes in Season 1 & 2.
Categories: General, Drama, Friendship Characters: Alexis Castle, Javier Esposito, Kate Beckett, Kevin Ryan, Lanie Parish, Martha Rodgers, Richard Castle
Chapters: 16 Table of Contents
Completed: Yes Word count: 35508 Read Count: 4491
Well, I know I should have put this review in the last chapter, but I now understand why Lanie asked Castle to come down and talk in private. I would suggest editing the chapter to read something like:
Aftwerward, Lanie paused, then then started, "Uh, Castle? Could you come down and speak with me... privately. Don't bring Kate down."
Something of that nature would give the sense that Lanie really meant to talk to Castle without Kate... And, would have provided that emphasis that she was saying it, not because she didn't mean to call him directly, but that it was a spur of the moment decision to bring him in on her findings. It would keep the reader from questioning the conversation, while allowing the suspense to remain.
By the way, this chapter was written well. From what I gather on this chapter, it is about a transition that allows for future development of the plot. I saw no real twists, but it did keep the story moving and opens up the story for more twists down the road.
My little explanation was in my other response... ;) And you are correct in your gatherings, it was a transition chapter. Thank you for leaving a reply. :)
Nice ending, but feels slightly contrived. Why was Lanie calling on Kate's phone if she really wanted to talk to Castle? From the way it was written, it appears to be about the case. But, if it about the case, it is strange that Lanie calls Castle to meet with her in private, away from Kate.
I guess I have to read the next chapter in order to find out. Darn it. Why can't these stories be learned by osmosis.
Anyway, so far it is a very intriguing story and well worth the read.
Lanie orginally called to tell Kate and Rick about the letters on the slugs, but Ryan and Esposito already told them. And then it was like a split second decision for her to talk to Rick. She originally intended to talk to Beckett. ;) :)
This was a very good twist at the end to bring Alexis into play for subsequent chapters. It is not something tht is normal in the fanfic universe and opens up all sorts of possibilities for the story.
I enjoyed this chapter and look forward to continuing the story.
Thanks. I thought it'd be fun to have Alexis be somehow involved. ;) :)
In this chapter, when Kate got in to Castle's bed, right before she turned out the light, I would have had her completely crying, thinking that she had lost him. She would never let herself go like that in front of anybody, but it seems to me that her sensitive side would have come out in that situation. The case going on the way it has, and her feelings for him, especially with the way you portrayed her barely keeping the tears from coming when talking with Martha, it just seems like she would finally get some release by crying there.
But, that is my take on the story. It in no way detracts from what you have written so far. Just one area that I would have changed to better reflect how she felt about him and the abduction. I can see multiple ways to write the story though, so again, the changes I would have made would only serve to emphasize her feelings. The way you have written it still shows how she feels, just, MAYBE, not quite as much. It is all in how each person interprets the scene.
You bring up a good point. When I kept writing that she was fighting tears, it was because she was always in front of people and she didn't want to appear weak, but when she was by herself, she could... I wanted to leave it open-ended and have the reader interpret whether or not she cried in her sleep. It was an indirect way of still giving Kate some privacy. That probably sounds weird, but that's how I wrote it. ;) :)
Pretty good, but I don't know about the decision to bring in Agent Shaw. It would have made more sense to bring in Sorenson, since he works kidnappings, while she works serial killers. Maybe it would not have worked for your future chapters, but it is a little inconsistancy.
Still enjoying the piece immensely. Keep it up.
P.S. I am not criticizing in any of my reviews here, just attempting to offer my opinion where I find some areas that are confusing or don't work, based on police/FBI procedures. Please don't take anything I write as criticism. I can sometimes mangle my writing, so that what is meant as constructive is read as destructive. It is a curse that I have to live with, so I am constantly having to apologize in advance.
If you have taken any of my reviews as a criticism of the story or your writing skills, then I have pur my foot in my mouth again, completely unintentionally.
It's funny you should bring Sorenson up. When I was writing, I was seriously thinking about Sorenson in, but I thought it'd be a little bit too much to put on Kate's plate emotionally. Kate even mentions why they brought Shaw in too - she's worked with Castle before. Granted, so has Will, but King also had murders under his belt too and they were dealing with that as well, not just the kidnapping. ;) And I'm taking everything you're saying with stride. It's always good to have constructive crticism. As long as you're still enjoying the story overall, it's all good. :P :)
That last was an evil twist. You are one freaky person. I love it. Keep it up. Can't wait to read the next chapter.
LOL! I like my evil cliffhangers and twists... ;) Thank you. :)
Nice ending. Also, a little precognition? I, for one, actually do believe it can occur, as it has happened to me. But, it does seem to be pushing the boundaries of credibility. That only reason I picked up on precognition is that she dreamed of him chained to a wall. That, and his warning her that it was a trap in the dream. Most dreams of that nature do not also include warnings that it is not safe.
Do not take this as a criticism, please. I thought it was an excellent twist. It just does not seem to fit in the Castle universe. If it were a story written about two people I was not familiar with, I would possibly have a different take on the issue.
I also believe it can happen. I thought that as much as this story flowed like an episode, it was an opportunity to really delve into the character's thoughts and that's what I went with through Kate's dream. And who knows, maybe in the future this kind a thing will be canon on the show. ;) Don't worry, I'm not taking that as criticism, it's just an interpretation. ;) :)
In all of my other reviews, I have tryed to give you helpful advise on the chapters, even though I know that the story has already been completed. In this chapter, I see a BIG dichotomy. You are writing here that someone who has remained in the shadows for AT LEAST 18 years, if not more, and hidden any and all evidence of his involvement with crime is suddenly going to 1) call up the police and gloat and, 2) actually put himself on tape, showing his face, with a kidnap victim.
This makes no sense at all. Sure, it is a way to start to wrap up the story, but it is completely out of character for a man that has been that shrewd and cunning for at least 18 years. It makes no sense that he would basically convict himself by doing this, regardless of whether he is going to kill Kate or not. The evidence to convict him and give him the death penalty would still be in police possession, as well as FBI possession. He would never be able to get around that. He would have to run for the rest of his life.
While I enjoyed this chapter, it portrays the villian as completely out of character, based on the history shown in the story. I am always up for megalomania from a villian, but you have been careful to protray the villian up until this chapter as ruthless and cunning, hiding in the shadows at all times, never allowing his crimes to touch him. This chapter does a 180 degree turn and has him boasting about what he is currently doing.
King *sorta* acknowledged that and so did Castle when he asked him. He was wondering why he was risking revealing everything by kidnapping Castle. I guess King believed himself to be so good, he'd be able to get rid of it. And I also believe that in his mind, he's been getting away with so many things for over 10 years that he wanted a new challenge, to see if he could get away with something even with the police so hot on his tail - in otehr words, he was getting bored. I guess I should've made that more apparent, but once again, it's up to the reader's interpretation. ;) I hope you still enjoyed this chapter though. :)
This chapter was missing something. You had no reaction by King and Sullivan when Shaw burst into the room. It went directly from her entering to the cuffs being slapped on. That could have been fleshed out such as:
'Both King and Sullivan whirled around, determined not to be caught. They realized that it was pointless upon looking into the weapons already pointed directly at them.
"Put the guns on the ground and take two steps back, now!!!" Agent Shaw growled, ready to pull the trigger if her orders were not met immediately.'
That kind of transition would bring that area more closure and make it flow better. Granted, my version should be fleshed out more, also. But, it was an example of how you could transition that entrance by Shaw and make the chapter flow smoother.
I think somebody's in my mind. :P You really keep picking up on things I was thinking about when writing this story. Shaw and Avery were just too quick. I think you meant Johnson. It'd be kinda hard for Sullivan to have a reaction since he's been dead throughout the whole story. :P Johnson and King were by the doorway, Shaw and Avery burst in and were right on top of them - sorta took them by surprise and hence slapped the cuffs on their wrists quickly. ;) It probably could've been a little more fleshed out, but another way of explanation is that the events went by so quickly, it was like it happened that fast. You can be assured there was some resistance, but it was better to just have them be arrested and be done with - go back to the main characters. ;) I hope that didn't take away from any enjoyment of this already tense chapter. :)
Very good ending. It was good that they both slipped and almost stated how they really feel about each other, but held it back. That portrays the actual characters very well. Having Kate sleep with her head on his chest and feel safe also reflects the way they are written on the show.
Thank you. :D I'm glad I was able to keep everybody as in-character as possible. :) I take it that you enjoyed the story overall. I really appreciate you taking the time to give me some sort of review for just about every chapter. Thank you. :)
Sorry. In my second paragraph here, I sound much harsher than I meant to sound. I meant to say that I could not see how someone who has been that careful to never leave any evidence of his crimes would suddenly change character so drastically. It is difficult to imagine how someone would that secretive would deliberately provide direct, incontrovertible evidence against himself this way.
After reading the post again, I felt that I definitely needed to make this apology, as I see that it appears much different than I originally meant it to be taken.
I think my response takes care of that review. ;) It's all right, I've taken everything in stride. Reviews like yours make me a better writer. I take more things into consideration when I write. And this was my first attempt at a Castle fanfiction - I'll have their characters more in-character in future stories, I assure you. ;) I really hope you enjoyed the story in its entirety and thank you yet again for reviewing so much. I can't express how big of a smile I had on my face when I saw that my story had 11 more reviews that it had last night. Thank you so much and I hope you'll opt to read any more Castle stories I may write in the future. :)
Okay, now that I have had a chance to read the full story and sleep on it, I think it is time for my overall review. Any criticism I give is intended to help, not to disparage.
The story was thoroughly enjoyable. I have read your responses to all of my reviews and can see that you have graciously overlooked my foot-in-mouth disease. :o) There were issues that stretched the believable, based on how the show is written. I think I have provided insight in my take in previous reviews. That does not overshadow the story, though. There were areas that did not completely flow and/or could use some more explanation, but again, it did not detract from the story enough to matter.
Based on this story only, I would have to say that you are like me in that you read a lot of Castle fanfic, too. The problem with that for a writer is that some fanfics can add idiosyncrasies to the characters that do not show up in the show. So, it means that to have your stories ring true throughout the course of the show, you need to make sure that you do not add in many idiosyncrasies when writing your characters.
You have done a good job of this, in that you did not write in many. But, there could have been some more added that are portrayed in the show. You did a good job with Martha when utilizing the wrods "kiddo" and "darling". You also got her character right dealing with the motherly aspect towards Alexis and Kate. Since there were no real interactions between her and Rick, I can't make any comments on that.
One thing that I would like to see in any future stories is more emphasis on the Ryan and Esposito characters. They are not the main characters, but do add a tramendous amount to the show. You have your comic relief, as well as the big brother, protective aspects that they show. This is entire paragraph has no bearing on the current story. It is just a suggestion for your future stories.
Suggestions: Watch more CASTLE. :o) I mean that in a sense that only by watching the shows closely can you get a complete feel for the individual characters. That will enable you to fool people like me into thinking that you actually write for the show.
One last thing. This story was very enjoyable and I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Wow! Thank you so much for such a long and thoughtful review. I'll definitely keep all of those things you mentioned in mind. ;) And I can guarantee you that I'll definitely have more Ryan and Esposito in any more Castle stories I write. I love those two. <3 You're right in your assumption that I read a lot of Castle fanfiction. And I'll definitely watch more Castle for any future stories I write - it'll be tough, but I'll manage. LOL! ;) :P I'm really glad that overall you enjoyed this story and I do hope you'll keep an eye out for any of my future Castle stories.